Archive for the ‘Honesty’ Category

20
Oct
2009

Book Recommendation: Getting Real by Susan Campbell, Ph.D.

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This week’s book recommendation was really inspirational for me. I’ve been very introspective lately and one of the things I’ve been trying to get a handle on is my own authenticity. As I mentioned in an earlier post, Let’s Get Real, I am more likely to be dishonest about my true feelings in order to control the outcome of a situation. Chances are you’ve been guilty of doing the same, but maybe didn’t realize it.

Have you ever…

  • been bored listening to someone but acted interested?
  • had trouble admitting you didn’t know something you’re supposed to know?
  • had trouble admitting you’re wrong?
  • had difficulty asking for what you wanted?
  • had a problem saying no or marking your boundaries?

These are some of the questions that author Susan Campbell, Ph.D. poses in her book Getting Real, and if you answered yes to any of these than you need to read it.

This Week’s Book Recommendation

Getting Real: 10 Truth Skills You Need to Live an Authentic Life
by Susan Campbell, Ph.D.

Susan defines 10 Truth Skills that, when practiced, will allow you to live an authentic life and will help you discover the freedom that comes from relating more and controlling less. She has a real knack for using personal anecdotes to illustrate her point and show her own experience on the subject.

It’s time to start living in the now, be open to the real you – mistakes and all. This book will improve your relationships and interactions.

Stay tuned because I’m going to be giving YOU an opportunity to win an autographed copy of Susan’s book. She has graciously given me two copies to give away to my readers and I’ll be posting details about this contest soon!

In the meantime, if you just can’t wait, I encourage you to order this book and start changing your life.

Connect with Dr. Susan Campbell-
On the web: www.susancampbell.com
On YouTube: youtube.com/user/drsusan95472
On Facebook: facebook.com/drsusan99
On Twitter: twitter.com/drsusan99

Have you read this book? Be sure to share your thoughts in the Disqus comment box below!


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Posted in Authenticity, Book Review, Honesty

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13
Oct
2009

Let’s Get Real

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One of the many introspective discoveries I’ve made recently is how absolutely fake I can be. The plain and simple truth is that I’m much more likely to hide my true feelings rather than be real about them.

Why would I do this?

To avoid embarrassment, conflict, hurt feelings, or any other number of what I would call negative outcomes. Am I in such a dire need to control the outcome that I would rather be deceptive than express myself honestly?

I heard an incredible interview on NPR this afternoon with author Barbara Ehrenreich who, when diagnosed with breast cancer, was bombarded with advice on being optimistic. What she soon realized was that this false optimism was not positively affecting her outlook. In fact, it was making it worse. She was not expressing her true feelings about her illness.

In her new book, Bright-sided (Amazon Link), Ehrenreich talks about some of the negative effects of positive thinking and how America has been undermined by what she calls “reckless optimism”.

She’s not saying dwell on the negative or to ignore the positive. What she is saying is simple: Be real. Allow your true feelings in that moment to be expressed. It’s healthy and it’s normal. I haven’t read her book yet, but I plan to soon. You can read an excerpt from Bright-sided here.

Look inward and ask yourself, “Am I being authentic?” What’s your answer?

I’m working on becoming a more authentic person and I hope you feel compelled to do the same. In the coming weeks I’ll be touching on this topic some more and will sharing the tools and material that have been helping me.

Are you interested in getting real?

 

Photo Source: smibsblog


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Posted in Authenticity, Honesty

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10
Oct
2009

Blackberry Blooper

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We decided to go out for breakfast at Cracker Barrel this morning. As I’m sitting there talking to Holly and waiting on our food, a man walked straight up to me. He had a Blackberry to his ear and said, “Your name wouldn’t happen to be Will would it?” I said yes and realized it was my Blackberry he was holding. I was jolted further into confusion when he handed it to me and said that my boss was on the other end and to ignore the note on my car. I think I might have said thanks but I’m not sure. A million thoughts were racing through my mind.

  • Why did this man have my Blackberry?
  • Why is my boss talking to him?
  • How did this guy pick me out of a restaurant full of people?
  • What the heck is going on?

My boss, John, helped answer some of those questions. Apparently this guy had my phone in his hand when John just happened to call and he answered it hoping to determine who the owner was. He had explained to John that my phone was found in the parking lot and John gave him my description (tall, boyishly handsome, with a whimsical smile) so that’s how he found me.

Then it dawned on me.

Before we went to Cracker Barrel we had stopped by the gas station for a fill up. I had put my Blackberry on the bumper of the car as I went through the motions and then totally forgot it. I hopped in the drivers seat and drove nearly a mile down the road and it never budged! It stayed there the whole way. Let me just go ahead and fully endorse those gel skin silicone cases. They really have one heck of a grip.

After I got off the phone with John, I got up from the table to find this mystery man. I needed some details and the opportunity to thank him properly. It turns out he was a manager and that another customer had parked beside us, noticed the phone and brought it inside. The manager then placed a note on my window so that when I came out I would come back inside and ask about it. That’s about the time when John called. I told him about the phone’s little journey and thanked him for all of his help.

As we were paying the bill, I placed my phone on the counter to get my wallet. The cashier said, “So you’re the Blackberry guy.” The other cashier leaned over and made a similar remark. Who all knew about this? I need a less recognizable Blackberry. Just a couple of months ago I had switched to a white housing with a blue trackball so it’s definitely out of the ordinary.

We left and as we were loading the kids up the woman from the car beside us was also coming out. She said, “Oh, you’re the Blackberry guy!” Is this my new nickname? I thanked her as well and explained how it had happened. She laughed and offered me some great advice:  “You probably shouldn’t do that again.”

So there it is, folks – the best advice for those times when you do something really stupid. You probably shouldn’t do that again.

A very peculiar morning but I have to admit it was a little fun. I really love moments like these so I thought I’d share the anecdote just in case you do too. I’m also really thankful for good, kind, and honest people. They aren’t a dime a dozen anymore so you really have to appreciate them when they come along.


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Posted in Honesty, Kindness

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02
Oct
2009

Naturally Honest

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Is anyone else shocked about David Letterman’s revelation last night on The Late Show? I’m really only half shocked and even that is more from the surprise that women actually slept with him. As Dave pointed out, “Would it be embarrassing if it were made public? Perhaps it would, especially for the women.” He made light of it but that’s what he does. In truth, it really sounds like a more serious situation that Dave has been dealing with behind the scenes.

I’m not going to spend any time here judging his actions. That’s not my desire or reason for bringing this topic up. I bring it up because it made me wonder if Dave would have come clean had an extortionist not threatened to out him.

We all have skeletons lingering in our closets (and some are better left there), but if we’re not being honest with ourselves are we able to be honest with others? I think it’s safe to assume that even the best of us have made mistakes and chose to cover it up in order to save a career, a relationship, or a reputation.

Many attribute the adage “Honesty is the best policy” to Benjamin Franklin. In truth, its origin’s actually date back to the sixteenth century from Archbishop Whatley of Dublin who completed the thought with, “…but he who is governed by the maxim is not an honest man.” It really changes the whole meaning doesn’t it?

You shouldn’t feel forced to tell the truth. It should be a natural inclination to be honest and if it’s not then you have some work to do. I know I sure do.

How can we learn to be more naturally honest with ourselves and others?


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Posted in Honesty, Integrity, Reputation

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26
Aug
2009

Short Yellow Lights, Big Profit

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[tweetmeme]About a month ago I was in downtown Nashville to meet a friend for lunch. I came up to an intersection as the light was changing but it made sense to go ahead and roll through the yellow light rather than stomping on the break and skidding to a halt. The light changed to red before I was even through the intersection though and I remember thinking, “That light was yellow for barely two seconds. That must have been a mistake.”

I ran across a blog article on Digg this morning that made me realize it wasn’t a mistake and that it was most likely done for profit. Originally, this was found on Motorist.org but the site seems to be down as of this morning so I’ll refer you to a cached copy on Google’s server here.

The article listed 6 cities in the United States that were found to have shortened the duration of the yellow light as a means to collect more money from traffic violations. Both Nashville and Chattanooga were on this list.

Some local governments have ignored the safety benefit of increasing the yellow light time and decided to install red-light cameras, shorten the yellow light duration, and collect the profits instead.”

Source: 6 Cities That Were Caught Shortening Yellow Light Times For Profit (motorist.org, 3/26/2008)


In Nashville, the situation wasn’t limited to red-light cameras, as was my experience. I was apparently one of the lucky ones who managed to drive through a so-called “ticket trap” without getting caught.

In 2006, Nashville resident Joe Savage obtained the data on every red light running ticket issued on Broadway Street since 2000. He said that yellow lights are longer at intersections along Broadway until the areas where police are issuing tickets. At those locations, Savage clocked the yellow signal time at less than 3 seconds, in violation of both state law and federal regulations. A local newspaper, The Nashville Scene, then confirmed his findings.

Source:

Yellow Light Blues (Nashville Scene, 5/11/2006)


Our tax payer funded law enforcement – breaking laws to profit further from the taxpayers. Awesome.

These articles are a bit dated but the problem still seems to exist and may possibly be growing. I’d be interested in hearing some feedback. Maybe you’re one of the unlucky ones who got caught. I’d love to hear your story so please be sure to comment.

UPDATE: I was nosing around some more on motorist.org and found this article here: http://www.motorists.org/blog/short-yellow-light-times-no-longer-going-unnoticed, which was written in April 2009. There is also a campaign against short yellow lights (no, really!) at http://www.shortyellowlights.com. Pretty interesting stuff. Check it out.


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Posted in Honesty, Integrity

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